I confess I do not understand Fantasy Football. Yes, I said it. Admittedly, anything beyond the basics of real football escapes me as well. I have never spent an entire Sunday afternoon parked in front of the T.V. cheering wildly for my favorite teams, and until a year ago I took my Super Bowl bathroom breaks during the game so as not to miss the commercials. So while I had heard talk of this new and growing phenomenon – this “fantasy football” – which less than a year ago had hardly been a blip on my radar, I shrugged it off as merely a passing fad.
Then, walking through Publix late one evening, I stumble down that misplaced aisle of books and magazines which miraculously always seems to find itself tucked between aisles of dog food and canned soup. At quarter to ten, the lone check-out worker eyes me suspiciously, as if to say “Get on with it.” But even under his accusing glare, I have to pause a moment in front of those gleaming covers. Between headlines shouting about the latest celebrity couplings and the “10 Best Tips for Getting in Shape FAST!” sits an entire row devoted to fantasy football. I am shocked. I cannot imagine how you would fill one magazine devoted entirely to fantasy football, let alone the row of ten different covers which suddenly face me.And before I know it, it is all around me. The two boys behind me in math talk about points and drafts, things much farther beyond my understanding than a little calculus. In literature, the kid in front of me sneakily checks stats on his iPhone. Suddenly we are so wrapped up in our fantasy worlds we would not know reality if it tackled us like a 300 pound linebacker. When did the hours spent just watching the games become not enough? I am tempted to join in for fear of missing out like I did with Livestrong bracelets and Crocs – though the latter I cannot say I really regret. Maybe I could pick a team based on which names sound the best, and I would lose every game – but that is not really the point is it?
No – I am determined to break the mold. I will not conform to this obsession I do not understand. I will wait for it to fade out like every other passing fad. In the mean time, I think I will pick up fantasy waterskiing. It is sure to be a hit given enough time, and then, for once, maybe I will be ahead of the curve.
Written by: Emily Smoke
